I DO NOT AUTHORIZE FACEBOOK!

Let's face it: we're all a bit like the guy who shouts "I don't authorize the RAI license fee!" at the turned-off television.

The "I don't authorize Facebook" hoax was our way of feeling rebellious, of shouting against the wind, while the web multinationals laughed in our faces. It was group therapy for those who have never read the terms of use but have a lot of time on their hands.

And then I asked myself: what if this magic formula worked for the things that really matter?

1. I do not condone politics.

I don't allow those big faces popping up everywhere, on every corner, who have taken over the 90% of communication. Every post, every comment, every political meme is a drop that erodes the rock of my sanity. It's no longer a debate: it's a ring where boxers fight with "yes, but you..." If I have to get indignant, it's better to be in front of a work by Marina Abramović: at least she stops me before my liver commits hara-kiri.

2. I do not authorize the display of “merchandise”.

Like a '90s street shop window: young girls playing at being sexy dolls and twenty-somethings who look like they've stepped out of an escort catalog. For once, a little mystery would have been enough... but today, everything's on display, everything's on sale. At least the prostitutes had a clear goal: to bring home the bacon. Today, it's a show for... what?

3. I don't allow the metronome ass.

No, they're not the faces above. Once celebrated by poets and artists, today they've been reduced to a digital slave. They don't dance for joy, but to the preset rhythm of an algorithm that wants them to sing along to a fast-fashion hit. And the saddest thing is that they don't even bring home the bacon: only the illusion of an attention span that fades the next day. The requiem of music, dance, stage design, and other arts.

4. I do not authorize the €9.99 guru.

The prophet of "making a million in three days" who records videos in a studio apartment with flowery wallpaper. If you're truly a millionaire, you should be on a yacht, not in front of a crooked poster of New York. The real business isn't wealth, but the hope of becoming one: and that's what gurus sell with courses and magic formulas.

Here is my “I do not authorize”.

It's not about protecting my data (that's now controlled by an algorithm whose address I don't even know). It's about protecting my eyes, my sanity, my liver, and my heart.

I just wish I were a gardener trying to protect my flowers from the weeds and carnivorous plants of social media.

And if it doesn't work, at least we'll have had a laugh.